what makes a good marriage? part two
July 3rd, 2007
A month or so ago, I asked the general public, “What makes a good marriage?” and received a myriad of responses. In the time since, I haven’t touched the topic; partly, because as it’s clearly obvious to most, I have no firsthand knowledge of what makes a good marriage, and partly because it’s a daunting topic. So why would a single woman have the audacity to even attempt to handle such a subject?
My answer (of course I must justify this, this is what philosophers do, after all =) is because my generation desperately needs to start listening to those who have gone before them and actually hear what they have to say on the subject; we need to humble ourselves and ask the questions; we need to seek to learn from those who are older, wiser, and more experienced than us and recognize when we don’t have the answers – that “love” is not enough.
Of course, I’ve never walked the road, so take what I share with a grain of salt. However, the beauty in soliciting the advice and wisdom of others is that I’m not proffering my own advice (which has no authority on my own without a healthy marriage to back it up) but I am proffering the thoughts and advice of many others who do have healthy marriages.
And with that, I submit a partial list:
Love.
Forgive.
Seek to out-serve your partner.
Laugh.
Dance.
Date.
Smile.
Be humble.
Compromise.
Put your spouse’s needs before your own.
Women – respect your husbands.
Men – love your wives.
Have fun.
Communicate.
Surprise each other.
Seek to learn each other’s love languages and speak to each other in them.
Remain each other’s best friend.
Pursue God together.
Continue to pursue each other as you did before you got married; never stop.
Commit.
Persevere.
Pray together.
Cry together.
Learn.
Cross each other’s cultures – you come from two different backgrounds; seek to understand
Be transparent with each other.
Be patient.
Fight for your spouse even when he or she does not deserve it just as God has fought for us
Choose to love when the emotions are not there
Seek to love your spouse with the kind of love Christ loved us - a love that allows you to willingly lay down your life for your spouse
Romance each other
Play
Never lose the wonderment you experienced when you were first falling in love
Talk
And breathe.
July 17th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
From the perspective of the husband, married forty five years, never forget the three most valuable words. “I love You.”
It helps to also remember the two most valuable words. “Yes Dear.”
July 18th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Hahaha.
(Happy forty-fifth anniversary! Praise God!)
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