constrained by time
May 31st, 2007
Time is money in the field of law. When you’ve worked as a paralegal, your sense of time completely shifts forever. As a paralegal, you must bill “time,” and time becomes one of the greatest commodities; therefore, every minute of your day, literally, must be accounted for. Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, you log your time and activities.
After working as a paralegal, I’ll never view time in the same manner.
The freedom I feel at my current job, without having to account for every minute of my day, without having to race against the clock because every minute I work on an assignment is being billed to the client, is absolutely exhilarating.
–
The whole concept of time is one that befuddles me; we’re always rushing around here or there, complaining that there is never enough time; we wait for the weekends, and then on Monday morning when we come into work, we complain that they are too short; we spend our workdays wishing there was more time to meet our deadlines; we count down the minutes to our breaks and lunches; we run ourselves haggard running to meetings and activities — ever slave to the clock.
Since when did we lose the sense of wonder that comes from not being a slave to time?
And why do we always feel so rushed, so “pressed for time?
I wonder if it’s because we’ve been wired for eternity; if the stories about the Garden of Eden we were taught as children ring true – that we were meant to live forever but are now constrained to having a lifespan – that we must now die a physical death, so all of a sudden, we find ourselves with this other-earthly sense of time because we were created as eternal beings, but we are now constrained to being born and to dying a physical death.
And so we rush around, racing the clock, bemoaning that there aren’t more hours in the day, looking forward to the time that we do have to do the things we desire, always hoping for more – more time with loved ones, more time to sleep, more time to get done the things we desire to get done. More time to attack that stack of books on our bedside table – more time to enjoy the outdoors – more time to spend with people, our loved ones, our significant others.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never have enough “time” this side of eternity. That’s why I’m thrilled that I have all of eternity to continue doing the things I love – to continue learning and reading and enjoying life. To explore and write and dance. To create, to discover, to produce. To rest and to play. To love and to enjoy. I may have only so many years here on earth, and who knows how long I’ve been granted, but I’m not stressed over it, for the things that I don’t accomplish here, I’ll continue to pursue on the other side.
That thought excites me greatly. Nevertheless, my pile of books “to read” continues to grow.
-Christen Patterson
May 30, 2007
[Many of my ideas in this piece have been shaped, in part, by conversations over the years with my friend Clifford – thank you!]
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