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Sitting next to a black potbelly stove, on a wooden folding chair with his arms folded across his stomach, his silver hair tied back and a warm smile peeking through his full beard, Richard Peterson (named changed), 52, reminds one of Gandolf of “Lord of the Rings” fame.
The setting is a Friday-night home Bible study; the time is affectionately known as “post-Bible study discussion.” Surrounded by a handful of high school and college students and their parents, Peterson is clearly at home as he discusses philosophy, science, politics and theology with his eager audience. Delving into the two subjects we’re instructed from babes never to discuss, Peterson doesn’t seem to mind the hot debates that are stirred, nor do the young people who are active participants and look upon him as not only mentor but also as friend.
Into the crazy fray of laughter and heated argumentation, one cannot help but notice the familial love in the group; it may seem like a strange mixture and setting for students to spend their Friday nights, but it’s become a cornerstone of the week for many of the students.
Peterson’s ability to connect with the younger generation and engage them to think deeply about their world and to teach about theology, philosophy, history and science is a gift, and part of the attraction is Peterson’s realness about his emotions and about the hardships of life. He may be the Bible study teacher, but he doesn’t sugarcoat reality, and the kids know they can trust him.
This welcoming attitude that Peterson exudes, a willingness to connect with others, is a stark contrast to his personality for many years after experiencing the worst moment of his life as a young child.
As one listens to his story, one is captivated by the simplicity with which he expresses the deep pain that altered his life in one swift moment.
“During the spring of my twelfth year, my father left his wife and children to move to the state of Florida and be part of another family,” begins Peterson. “The woman he was running off with was leaving her husband; her children were going to Florida with them, and they were also taking the 2-year-old child they had parented together while still married to their first spouses. I had known that my parents were in bad shape since I was the oldest child and my mother’s confidant.”
Peterson continued to relate the events of that soul-wrenching day. “The last day that I saw my dad for many years was a pleasant enough day; the sun was shining, I was neither hungry nor cold. In the living room of my small childhood home stood my father, mother, siblings, and self, and my dad was telling us that he was going away. The atmosphere in that room was not pleasant; the sun was setting and the cold was descending upon my heart. Many were crying; I was not. In that moment, something changed in me. I did not cry or laugh for many years. It was as if the light was going out and a part of me was freezing…and then he was gone, no letters, no calls, no visits.”
As the eldest boy, Peterson became the man of the house – with seven younger siblings, the burden of responsibility he tried to shoulder was crushing but not destroying. However, that experience and resulting consequences vastly changed him. As he stated, it was “many years later I learned to cry again. I was at a movie theater seeing a trailer for a coming movie. Johnny Cash was singing and Jesus the Son of God, the Messiah, was hanging on a cross, and I began to cry.”
The depth with which Peterson discusses this episode and the resulting wake that spread across the years of his life, affecting his disposition and relationships, strikes a haunting chord; this is a man who has experienced much pain and sorrow in his life. And yet, as evidenced by the content of the meetings and late-night conversations following at the weekly Bible studies that Peterson has led for the last five years, he has found peace with his father’s abandonment.
Forgiving him as an adult, the scars are still etched deeply; you can see it in Peterson’s eyes, and yet, there is now a gentleness and a peace that emanates from him as he discusses his father. Peterson’s chosen to forgive him, regardless of his father not deserving his forgiveness, and the love that is the agent that allows him to is the love and beauty that he pours into the students who come to learn from the wisdom he possesses.
(written winter 2005)
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